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We get this question so many times…what is a Mark Group.
Mark Groups are based off of a teaching from Lafayette Morehouse, which are so popular that companies such as OneTaste and others have copied them. There are three games that we go through all designed to stimulate deeper connection and conversations with other people. These Group’s will leave you feeling empowered and playful as you explore pretty much everything about your fellow attendees.
Of course you are always at choice in the matter which means you will never be forced to do anything you truly don’t want to do.
Joins us and have fun some of the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.
Dan (D): Do you enjoy going to parties and connecting with people, but find that it’s sometimes pretty shallow? Well we’ve got an event for you. I’m Dan with Beyond the Bedroom.
Elizabeth (E): And I’m Elizabeth. We’re here tonight to talk about Mark Group. So a lot of you have been asking what is a Mark Group? So as briefly as we can, we want to describe what happens in a Mark Group.
D: So the first part is kind of an ice-breaker. We do something called mockery… yup, mockery. And what we do is you mirror the person in front of you– both facial expressions, hand expressions, what you’re speaking, all that, and you’re answering a question that we’re providing for you. It’s a great way to really begin to learn to focus your attention on the other person.
E: One other person.
D: One at a time. Then we get into the hot seat and the hot seat is the funnest part of the games. You have one person who volunteers and we’re always at choice with what we do, so nobody is nobody is forced to get on the hot seat. But then everybody then pays their entire attention on that person. It’s not a tennis match where you’re going back and forth; you’re focusing your entire attention on that person.
E: And basically there’s one person who calls out to other people in the room, “Who has a question for,” let’s say, “Dan?” And if I was the leader of that particular hot seat, I would scan the room to see who has a question for Dan. Those question would ask Dan questions and there’s one of three ways he can answer and basically this is what we do all the time; we either tell the truth, we lie, or we simply refuse to answer. So that’s how you answer these questions on a hot seat. The person who’s in charge of timing and going around the room to find questions, that person is really in control of how long that person’s on the hot seat. All questions are on the table and, again, that person can answer in one of three ways. It’s a lot of fun.
D: Yeah and we really get deep in these conversations with people. So unlike those parties where you guy and they’re fairly superficial and shallow, it’s like, “Oh, how’s the weather? What do you do for work?” that kind of stuff, we get in some really in-depth questions.
D: It’s really a lot of fun.
E: Yeah, and over time as the crowd time after time gets to know each other, these questions really do allow all of the members to really get to know each other on a truly connected level. So that is hot seat. And the last game we play is called the withhold.
D: So have you ever been some place where you’ve not really been present because there’s something that’s going on? You see a woman walk into the room, as a guy– or maybe as a woman– and they really distracted you because they’re wearing this dress that’s just incredibly sexy; or somebody’s got really bad breath and you’re just not present because you’re trying to stay away from them the whole time? Well this is an opportunity for you to get this off your chest and it’s not an opportunity for go and start blaming or shaming people, but it’s what is it that’s taking you out of being present in the moment and it’s all about you, not about that other person. Though we do, usually, three rounds of withholds.
E: OK and there’s a very specific sentence stem. It’s, “So and so, there’s something I’ve withheld from you,” and then that so and so says, “OK, would you like to tell me?” And then you give a brief nugget of what it is. Drop the story, but, “I was really upset when you didn’t call me last night. You had promised that we were going to spend some time on the phone and I was hurt.” Boom. End of withhold and then that person says, “Thank you.” All the recipient is doing is receiving your voice. It’s a really nice way to kind of clear the air and as Dan says, so that you can be present moving forward.
E: So those are the three games. The three games are played the exact same no matter what location you are in, whether it be California at Lafayette Morehouse where this originally stems from, or in New York, or here in the Boulder area.
D: Philadelphia, Atlanta.
E: Philadelphia. There are Mark Groups all over the country and you find those, Dan will put the website out, at the Morehouse website. So that is what a Mark Group is.
E: Come and join us.
D: Yeah, we hope to see you here.
E: Thank you, bye.