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0:02 Daka Dan (DD): Hi and welcome to Beyond the Bedroom. Thanks for coming tonight. Tonight we’ve got a really fun show, we’ve
got our guest here– Jane Breneman. Thank you for being here. And Elizabeth do you wanna do the intro?
0:17 Elizabeth Wood (EW): Sure. So welcome to Naked Talk. Naked Talk is where we get naked in a conversation of sexuality,
intimacy and relationship. We strip down, expose the bare facts so you can learn what it takes for your love to thrive. I’m
0:40 DD: And I’m Dan Powers. Both with Beyond the Bedroom. And, you know, every one of our Naked Talks to date has– we’ve always
talked about a sponsor we have, well this is our sponsor!
0:51 EW: Tantra Dakini is here!
0:53 DD: Yes, she’s in the house!
0:56 EW: Literally, in the house. In the Beyond the Bedroom space, so we’re thrilled to have her. Jane is going to be discussing
the event that she is going to be facilitating. Three days of tantra, three days of sky dancing tantra.
1:15 DD: So has anybody ever heard of sky dancing tantra? Or even know what tantra means? So we’re gonna discuss those questions
as well as a workshop that she’s got coming up in November so we’ll get a chance to talk, explore that as well.
1:30 EW: Yeah. So, I’d like to formally welcome Jane Breneman, founder of Tantra Dakini. So, Jane, what is actually Tantra
1:41 Jane Breneman (JB): So Tantra is a Sanskrit word, it means to expand and liberate. Dakini is a word for an eclectic teacher
1:56 EW: So that’s what you are.
1:58 JB: So that.s..–
1:58 EW: You’re very– she’s actually a very eclectic teacher. So Jane’s background includes dance, includes massage…–
2:07 DD: Nursing
2:08 EW: Nursing…
2:09 JB: Psychology…
2:10 EW: Psychology, yeah. You’ve got a lot going on Janey, so tell us why you chose sky dancing tantra in particular, what drew
you to sky dancing?
2:22 JB: Well, since 2001 I’ve been a student of Tantra teachings from many different sources. My beloved and I, we thought that
we would seek out the foremost teachings which we have and we fell in love with Steven Lakita Carter, who run the Love & Ecstasy
training in Harbin, California– Harbin Hot Springs, California. And it’s just so extensive, goes one and on and on, so we’ve been
in teachers training for more than two years now, so very active with the different workshops and community there.
3:12 DD: Well that’s very extensive training, too. This isn’t just a weekend kind of training. This is a kind of course that
you’re going out for ten days, twelve days at a time, right?
3:22 JB: Right, it’s ten days at a shot, we’ve done that four times, one of the times we got to studying directly with Margot Anand
3:32 JB:…is kind of the founder of sky dancing tantra who is a direct lineage from Osho. She was a — and actually so was
Lakita. They traveled and taught with Osho for many years.
3:48 EW: Oh so you got the teachings right from the horses’s mouth, so to say. Yeah that’s fantastic. What was that like? Me, I
consider Margot the grandmother the mother of the Western movement into Tantra. So what was that like, being with her? Everything
I imagine– sweet, lovable and charming and delightful– what was that like for you?
4:09 JB: She’s like a powerful shaman. It was incredible. She really, kind of, embodies the mind, spirit, sexuality of the
teachings of sky dancing Tantra and, again, with the lineage of Osho, lots of moving meditation and it comes down to three real
bare elements of the practice which are breath movement and sound. Which those can raise vibration, extend our intimacy with
ourself, but also with our bodies and with our beloveds.
4:54 DD: OK, great.
4:55 EW: It’s quite a leap from nursing to Tantra so tell us a little bit about how you went from, you know, certainly still
healing but healing those that were sick and injured and now doing this beautiful work in healing another type of format.
5:16 JB: I loved my career as a nurse. There came period where, I don’t know if I should use names on this, but the satellite unit
that I worked in Spalding actually closed so I had a time period that I really had time to play with things as far as other
teachings, etc. Dr. Juliana Dahl was then offering certification course for sexual healers and I started to really address some
for my own issues about body image and low libido and mistrust of relationships, etc. And what I found, over time, is again these
are just building blocks and they’re never ending. So one teaching led to another teaching led to a puja party, led to community
of healers and actually in the Denver/Boulder area we have a very vast community of teachings from all kinds of lineages.
6:29 EW: Yes we do.
6:29 DD: So I originally met you at a Charles Muir training. More than a decade ago. So one of the differences between something,
that Source Tantra has versus SkyDancing?
6:46 JB: You know the bare basics of things around beliefs of energy centers called chakras, again, pranayamas breathing
techniques, relationship skills, being able to speak your truth, coming in terms with seeing your body a s a spiritual container,
ecstasy, pleasure principles, etc. There’s lots of commonalities but mostly what I see as the difference is in the actual
techniques and practices. Sky dancing does a lot of moving meditation which have a break through, this is where we get the
mind/body psychology action going on. So, and if you say, “Well I don’t have any issues” you’re lying! *laughter* “I don’t have
any identifying issues, I don’t think I have any blockages.” If you push a little bit more, unless you’re, you know, Jesus Christ
and a guru and it’s so expanded that enlightenment is there, and we can all go– one of my dear shamans, Harley Swiftdear, he
passed away last year but, in practice, he invented– invented , developed or downloaded, if you will, (_?_)8:24 which is a form of
sexual spirituality and he identified, you know, himself as not quite enlightenend. As of yet, you know, how many lifetimes does
8:38 EW: Wow! Yeah and he passed away– how old was he when he passed?
8:41 JB: I don’t know.
8:43 EW: Definitely in his seventies maybe even his eighties.
8:45 DD: Well he’s a product of the sixties and a member of that and the Vietnam war and all that and he’s probably in his
8:51 EW: Ahhh. So he considered himself still in training.
8:55 DD: Yeah.
8:55 JB: Yes.
8:56 EW: We’re always developing, aren’t we?
8:57 DD: Yeah, you know, and that’s one of the things that’s really interesting about this work because so many people say, “Well
oh well I know how to have sex, I’m in a marriage I know how to do that.” And the reality of it is there’s always things to learn.
As Jane said, we actually met you at, I believe, the first Tantra weekend that Charles Muir did in Boulder, Colorado, which is
where you’re workshop’s going to be coming up.
9:23 JB: Yes. Yes!
9:24 DD: And so I’ve been learning this stuff for ten years now and I would say that I still have lots and lots and lots to learn
and there’s just so much to learn and it’s really the new frontier, I would say, rather the final frontier– well I shouldn’t
really say that, maybe the brain… Anyway, around sexuality it certainly is. There’s so much that is undiscovered because, as a
society, we are so uptight around it. So… highly recommend, everybody, take classes that are out there whether it’s the one that
Jane’s gonna be putting on or the Beyond the Bedroom puts on. There’s teachers that are out there that have really good things to
bring out. I remember at a, I was at a Susan G. Komen Foundation walk and we were handing out fliersfor an upcoming Beyond the
Bedroom event and this guy was walking around without a shirt and he was walking around with these tight little shorts on and he
just thought he was really hot shit and I gave him one of the fliers and when he finally realized what it was all about, “Oh I
don’t need this,” and handed the card back to me and I thought, “Wow, I really feel sorry for–”
10:26 EW: Your future or current partner.
10:27 DD: Yeah! The women that are like– ’cause he was clearly heterosexual, it’s like just– I really feel sorry for him.
10:36 EW: I think the three of us would agree, being constant students of education on how to improve yourself, how to be more in
touch with your own sexuality and then share that with your partners, and that should actually be a life-long pursuit so that we
can all have a sexual relationships into our sixties, seventies, eighties–
10:57 DD: Yeah.
10:57 EW: …and that kind of stuff
10:58 DD: Yeah and that sex is such a huge, important part of our lives as humans but don’t let anybody tell you that it’s not and
to stifle it and unfortunately so many women get stifled around it. But, anyway, back to Jane and off my soap box…
11:11 EW: Back to Jane!
11:12 JB: One more idea about this. Our vitality is really based on our experiences and those are sensual experiences, that’s what
makes you alive.
11:23 DD: Absolutely.
11:23 JB: And to deny our sexual pleasure is to deny our life force.
11:30 DD: Mmmhmm.
11:30 JB: And so when we talk about– to thrive is to get that pleasure point– it’s like logically you allow yourself to
experience without shame or guilt or any of those, you know, teachings that our culture brings up. But also then enhance it in
ways that, you know, we think of Kama Sutra or different techniques, etc, etc, but, again, with breath movement and sounding, can
expand the experience.
12:07 EW: You know, what about all those guys out there– so what would you say, Jane,? Because so many men– actually so many
men and women are taught to be silent, you don’t wanna wake, let’s just say, you know, your teenager, you don’t wanna wake your
parents who’re in an upstairs bedroom or–
12:22 JB: You’ll get caught!
12:22 EW: Yeah! You know, you don’t wanna wake your room mates in college so actually we’ve been trained to be quiet. So what are
the teachings around– you know, why is it important for us to vocalize?
12:33 JB: Well, if we look at it in the chakra system, our throat chakra is our area of communication. It’s our area of expression
and it enhances our orgasmic potential. Here’s a test: when you self-pleasure, and I’m assuming everybody does, or else you’re
12:56 EW: Or else you’re lying…I like that! She’s callin’ you out people!
12:59 JB: But when you self-pleasure, allow yourself to move that energy with your vocalizations and i know this was one of the
hardest teachings for me to actually take into personal practice, ’cause I was one of those girls that didn’t wanna sound like a
whore or slut, enjoying it too much or just so shut down that, you know, there really isn’t that much vocal response– “Let me know
when you’re done” kind of thing. So to truly be in your body, you would naturally sound, so you’re–
13:41 DD: Sounding means moaning, heavy breaths, stuff like that…
13:45 JB: Right, right. I particularly don’t use too many words–
13:50 EW: Yeah.
13:50 DD: Mmhmm.
13:51 JB: But, tell me, make a sound, what does this feel like? *JB rubs Daka Dan’s head*
13:56 DD: Mmmm. Feels good.
13:56 EW: Mmmm. I’m imagining she’s doing it to me. *JB rubs Elizabeth’s cheek*
14:00 DD: Wait, wait, wait, no– back over here!
14:04 JB: And when you’re having an intimate session with your beloved, you need that communication back and forth. Yeah, it’s
sort of– I think it’s vitally important that my beloved’s engaged with me. That I have some sense of, “Do you like this? Do you
not like that?” You know, making love to a dead fish just isn’t fun.
14:31 EW: Yeah, and so it’s also feedback, a little bit. It let’s them know that you’re enjoying their touch. It can heighten
level of arousal. Nothing’s more pleasurable, for me, than hearing my partner moan or sigh with delight and I know that I’m
pleasing him and if he’s silent that doesn’t mean that I’m not doing good job, but I actually encourage him to make noise and let
me know how I’m doing with a murmur, with a moan, with a sigh.
15:03 DD: Yeah, so great sex tip number one is, you know, letting your partner know some of these visual and audio cues. I know as
well– so, the sounding is great and for those who aren’t making a lot of sound, it’s really good to watch their body, kind of see
where they’re tensing up, if they’re starting to writhe a little bit. So, you know, all of that stuff is really good for the whole
love-making side of things.
15:31 JB: Yeah.
15:31 DD: But, sounding also really helps the energy flow in the body and in the chakra.
15:37 JB: Yeah. So when we climax we have a contraction. Yeah. With an expanded orgasm, you have a release. *makes a noise*
That’s a little bit different than *makes a noise*. It’s a *makes a noise*.
15:56 DD: Mmm. Nice.
15:57 EW: So, using– that’s a really good sound Jane– using the voice can enhance and expand the experience of orgasm, that’s
what I’m hearing you say?
16:05 JB: Yes, yes.
16:06 EW: Right and the pleasure. So take Jane’s tip, try it, you know, when you’re– if you’re too embarrassed, “How am I gonna
sound with a partner?” Try it with your own self-love and self-play.
16:18 JB: See if that doesn’t enhance your own energetic response. That it’s not just about that climax, it’s about really self-
pleasuring which is moving your energy, which is involving all of your senses,
16:36 EW: Mmm.
16:36 JB: And one other thing to address is our learning potentials. So most women are more audial and most men are more visual
16:48 DD: Mmm.
16:48 EW: Mmm.
16:48 JB: So, yeah, audially, that’s really important that sense gets stimulated for me. And I imagine the same way that for men
to have visual prompts of arousal are..
17:06 DD: Mmhmm.
17:06 JB: Are very much important.
17:09 DD: Right.
17:09 EW: More of a turn on.
17:11 DD: Yeah and I know when Elizabeth is starting to moan and move and I can tell in her body that she’s being turned it
definitely makes my love-making to her more pleasurable as well, absolutely. Good tips, we’re getting a lot of good tips– I like
having this here! I get touched! *laughter*
17:29 EW: Massaged! So I wanna ask, you know– I wanna inform everyone, Jane is, as I said, facilitating a three days of sky
dancing Tantra in Golden in November. It starts November 14th, which is a Friday, a short evening session and then it’s all day–
most of the day Saturday and pretty much about five hours on Sunday. So in that teaching, Jane, what are you envisioning– I know
it’s not, you’re probably gonna come up with some surprises, but what do you envision the weekend to look like?
18:04 JB: So, the Friday night will have a basic run-through of the history of Tantra, kind of the overview of the agenda, the
schedule, so everybody knows what to expect. But there will also be guidelines as far as what expectations we have as a sangha
18:28 or a group to develop a safe and sacred time and space together, as well as to start our introduction of relationships. So
that’ll be Friday night. Friday night’ll be theater-kind of seating for most of it and then after people get– kind of get their
groundings we’ll do an introduction which will be asking people their name, where they’re from, what brought them to the workshop–
19:00 EW: That’s really important.
19:02 JB: Yeah. What do they wish to get out of the workshop? And what do they have, the who is showing up there? What do they
have to offer to this group?
19:11 EW: I think that’s really important to the collective, you called it a Sangha, the group, you know ’cause we each have
pieces, different experiences, that we’re each gonna go through and different experiences that we can add to the group. What I’m
hearing you said is each participant is like an ingredient and over the weekend we’re gonna create something that only that group
of people can create in that weekend so that’s gonna be beautiful.
19:36 JB: Exactly
19:38 DD: Yeah. And I would say, I know for all the different courses that I’ve taken, it’s really true. The people who are in
attendance, they don’t actually have to say or do anything and they’re not going to get up and doing teaching, certainly, but
they’re participation really shapes the entire weekend.
19:50 JB: Yes.
19:50 DD: So that’s great.
19:52 JB: Yeah. And the attendees really are my teachers.
19:57 EW: Always a learner. Even though you’re in the front of the room. Good for you Janey. You know one of my favorite
teachers used to say that she was so excited to start each academic year because she had no idea what she was gonna learn in those
particular semesters. Yes, so what about Saturday and Sunday?
20:14 JB: So Saturday will be a all-day event. We will have a large break time for people to walk around the beautiful town of
Golden which has so many historic sites and shops and it’s really a tourist–
20:33 DD: It’s a beautiful place. Yeah.
20:34 JB: It has a creek right by there, people, you know, can walk, etc. But basically the agenda will be that we’ll start each
session which some kind of movement and you don’t have to be a formal dancer to be a sky dancer. I think that any number of people
ask me, “Is that the same as aerial dance, are we gonna hang from a box?” *laughter* I said, “That’s a more advanced class.” But
we’ll start with some kind of movement and then we’ll go through an actual exercise which, maybe, a movie meditation like Quantum
Life Breath, or chakra-balancing exercise, etc. Then the group will have a time period to process with each other what they
gained, any insights that anyone gained, any blockages that anyone’s identified and the bonding.
21:32 EW: Yeah.
21:33 DD: That’s really great too, because one of the foot concerns that I’ve heard from people in the classes that I’ve done in
the past as well is, “I don’t really wanna participate, I wanna kind of sit in the back of the room and watch.” And you still
learn, you don’t have to step up– you’re not gonna be called out, put on the spot, or anything like that and you can learn from
other people sharing their experiences. I know certainly, I’m not one of these people that’s really out there and raising my hand
and speaking up a lot during workshops and I get so much from the other people sharing. It’s like, “Oh that applies to me too.
Wow I can use that for my own teaching, healing, whatever it might be.” So, now that’s really great as well, I really like that,
appreciate that and the other thing is I know I’m not a dancer, right? I don’t like to dance at workshops. I know.
22:25 EW: That’s no big secret.
22:29 DD: Right, but at these workshops it really, you’re not expected to be a professional dancer, you don’t even have to really
dance. You can just sit and move and so whatever’s your pace.
22:42 EW: The point is that these are movement exercises they aren’t dance exercises.
22:45 DD: Right.
22:47 EW: You know so people may be swaying to the music, others may just– so in one of the teachings that I’ve actually been in
with you, you said, Jane if I remember this correctly, you said, “Don’t move to the music, let the music move you.” And I think
that helped me because I’m a better dancer than Dan is but I’m still not a dancer. I’ve never had any formal training and I just–
that allowed me to sort of sink in and, alright you’re paying attention, as Jane mentioned, to the sense of sound and how in my
mind I wanna react to that. So I like that point, which is really good, no this isn’t about dancing this is about movement and
about what happens when we move in these exercises.
23:33 JB: And it’s funny when we catch ourselves truly in the moment of feeling whatever we feel and expressing it with our bodies,
versus when we’re in our head going, “OK. Chasse…” When we’re choreographing it with, you know, taught steps, it’s totally
different than just, the innate quality that we all have to want to move our bodies and express, you know, to music and again with
sound and breath.
24:10 DD: Right.
24:11 EW: Yeah. And that’s an also, a very interesting point to make around breath and how so many of us, with the act of love-
making and sex, we actually hold our breath and, you know, just that simple, like, take that deep inhale and then immediately, you
know that long, extended exhale. See how that can move, move your energy because this actually just…
24:36 JB: Yeah, yeah and I think, you know, the point of climax is being on a scale of one to ten, that’s the ten, that’s the tip-
over. What happens to the seven, eight, the nine? That’s where we wanna hang out
24:54 DD: Enjoy that orgasmic energy, yeah.
24:54 JB: Exactly and the, kind of the definition of arousal is that state between relaxation and excitement. That’s where we find
25:12 DD: Nice. Yeah.
25:12 EW: So, tip– another tip is breathe.
25:15 DD: Yeah.
25:16 EW: Inhale, exhale without holding and yeah the pattern of breath is gonna change as the arousal builds, you know our breaths
becomes short. Our inhale/exhale cycle becomes shorter but see, you know, explore that. I would imagine that that’s what we’re
gonna do in the class also, is learn– actually learn how to breathe differently through our states of arousal.
25:38 JB: Yes. Yes lots of the prana-yama. Prana is kind of the primordial life energy so, yeah. We can–we can even learn how to
manipulate our experiences with our breath. It’s real hard, it’s kind of like– try to be really pissed off and smile at the same
time. It’s hard to do. Try to be really relaxed *breathes slowly* and breathe like this *breathes quickly* Hard to do.
26:16 EW: So and I think– so I am– I used to be a chest breather and most of us in the United States actually don’t take enough
deep breaths, and we live in Colorado so be careful– the three of us might pass out or hyperventilate.
26:32 DD: Deep breath.
26:33 EW: But that deep breathing and that belly breathing is something that’s actually lost so I find it very interesting that a
lot of teachings– that we actually have to be reminded. I mean it’s a function that obviously keeps us alive but to really re-
learn the power of the simplicity of breath, you know, it’s so complex because most of us just do this chest-breathing. And I mean
even re-training my own breathing so that I’m in with the deep belly-breathing. You know, it actually tends to deepen the voice as
you even bring your voice and your breath down and out from your lower abdomen. So that’s gonna be fun and it’s something that,
even though I may seem to be versed at it, it’s something that I continuously need to be reminded of.
27:20 JB: Yeah.
27:20 EW: So it’s deep inhale and deep exhale so you that you can…
27:24 DD: So we were talkin’ about Saturday. Are we done with Saturday?
27:27 JB: So, Saturday will go until nine o’clock at night and there’ll be, actually, a party towards the end that is still coming
27:43 DD: OK.
27:43 JB: Sunday, Sunday we start again. Nine o’clock in the morning. Kind of go through our routine and then, together, we’ll
enjoy a brunch, food being part of the celebration of our relationships with each other. This is fascinating to me, and I’ve done
it so many times and I still catch myself doing it. We come into a new group, you can catch yourself having any kind of judgement
about, “Well this person looks, you know, like they’re right-brained or left-brained,” or, “I bet that’s an accountant or an
28:26 DD: Hey! What did I get a job for?
28:28 JB: But by the end of this weekend we develop some intimacies in the relationship and I always catch myself falling in love
with the group and the different relationships and catching myself of incorrect assumptions. Words, what are those? They speak
right back to ‘ya, that’s your mirror.
28:54 DD: Yeah, yeah.
28:55 EW: Wow that sounds like fun.
28:57 JB: Right.
28:57 DD: So, when do we get naked?
29:00 JB: That’s when we do the aerial sky dancing. *laughter* Actually– for this workshop there is no nudity and there is no
genital touch. This is a beginners weekend, if you will, so it doesn’t mean that there can’t be home practice but the actual
seminar itself, again, will not have nudity but we will ask you to bring comfortable things to wear so that we can do some
movement, some exercises on the floor which will play with touch, items that set up your sacred space. So that may be a sarong or
a medicine blanket, different pillows, those kinds of things.
29:53 DD: OK. Yeah and I actually knew the answer to that question but I know a lot of times people hear that word Tantra and they
think, “Oh this is just gonna be this kind of big sex orgy kind of thing” and it’s absolutely not that, at all.
30:05 EW: Yeah, so Jane, how would you answer that. “So I heard Tantra’s just about sex.” Can you dispell that myth for us?
30:13 JB: Yeah that’s kind of like saying a dollar is all about ten cents. It’s– sex is absolutely a vital apart of it but
that’s only one piece. Is it all about sex? Sex is certainly a very important part of it, it is our life force. But Tantra is a
huge umbrella of different practices. Some lineages of Tantra don’t include sexuality.
30:51 DD: Mmhmm. Well is it true that all yogas are based out of Tantra? I mean the kundalini yoga, and a lot of the yogas. I
mean there’s a whole number of sutras that are part of that Tantric bible, if you will and of those sutras, like– I think there’s
like a hundred and twelve or fourteen, I always forget the exact number, but like six of them are related to sexuality and in the
West, it’s kind of that term Tantra has kind of been adopted as, “Ooh this a big sex thing.” That’s what everybody focuses on.
31:24 EW: ‘Cause we sensationalize it, you know?
31:27 DD: Right.
31:27 EW: It probably sells books.
31:29 DD: Right.
31:29 JB: Yeah. Well and back, you know, years and years ago, like thousands of years ago there was a belief that celibacy was
closer to godliness except Tantricas were the rebels who said, “No, our sexuality is part of our sacrament of prayer. So it brings
us closer to God.”
31:56 DD: Right. And part of the whole practice of Tantra is being able to reach enlightenment through orgasmic pleasure, orgasmic
connectedness and everything else involved with that.
32:08 JB: Yeah. Yeah.
32:10 EW: So, I know that there have been questions as we’ve been setting up the three days of sky dancing Tantra, so, can people
come by themselves, do they have to be in partnership, you know, let us know what the structure.
32:28 JB: Excellent question and a lot of people are gonna be asking that. So, an individual is open with– we have what we call
“Deep Divers” which is a committed relationship that chooses to work just with each other or “Free Floaters” which are individuals
that may be in relationships or not but are willing to work with other people throughout different exercises and, to tell you the
truth, sometimes it’s easier not to work with your committed partner ’cause you can expand outside of what your role would be in
the relationship to who you are–
33:16 DD: The baggage that you might bring into it as well.
33:20 JB: Yeah.
33:20 DD: Absolutely. And I’d like to ask, these exercises– so it’s not like you’re gonna be kissing somebody else or something
like that. These exercise that you work with somebody else, they’re– how intimate are those going to being relevant to– can
imagine somebody hearing this and saying, “Gee I’m going there with my partner, I’m still thinking this is kind of a sex thing and
I really don’t want my partner going out with somebody else. Are they gonna be kissing, are they gonna be caressing each other?
Is it safe?”
33:51 JB: Yeah, a big concern for many couples. So in the beginning of the exercises we’ll describe to you what it is that will
happen and then you can make a decision whether you wanna work with your partner or not. Many of these exercises we’ll be getting
into triads or foursomes, etc depending on what the nature of that exercise it. So you don’t act– you don’t really have to have a
34:23 DD: Mmhmm.
34:22 JB: But looking at– I wanted to come back to a thought about yoga. Word yoga means to yog. If you could imagine the yen-
yang, black and white symbol, that’s what brings in wholeness. So you start with mastering your own energy centers to become whole
so that then you can have a good polarity with whatever partner that you’re working with.
34:58 DD: Mmhmm.
35:00 JB: Again, be that male, female, threesome, larger groups, etc.
35:02 DD: Right.
35:04 EW: So there are paired exercises, whether you’re in a partnership or not, participants will be grouped together of their
choice and they can always, I remember we talked ahead of time, they can choose to sit out an exercise or dance and they’re still
gonna absorb the exercise and, you know, be– they’re not asked to leave the room but they just won’t actively participate,
although there will be reverberation of whatever’s happening in the room.
35:31 JB: Right and choice is a strong word. All the exercises, anything, you always have the choice to participate or not
participate or what level. But you will be encouraged.
35:46 DD: Yeah.
35:45 EW: Softly.
35:46 DD: Yeah and it’s interesting ’cause I know people– other workshops that we’ve attended, Elizabeth and I have attended, and
people have gone there and they said, “They made us do something.” Are you kidding? You’re always at choice, unless somebody’s
putting a gun to your head or a knife to your throat, you’re always at choice to do something so I would say, you know, nobody’s
ever forcing you to do something. If they’re forcing you to do something, you’re not powerful enough in your ‘no’ to say that you
don’t want to do something. And so it’d just be more clear about it. Sometimes people will kind of hesitate and say, “Well, that
was my ‘No'”. Well no, just ’cause you hesitated but then said ‘yes’ doesn’t mean that that was a ‘no’. You really need to be a
lot more clear and powerful around your ‘no’.
36:34 JB: Yeah.
36:34 EW: And because we know Jane and we know her teachings, that ‘maybe’, as in the Jack Johnson song, ‘maybe’ always means no.
So, you know, until you have your clear ‘yes, that maybe we’re gonna ask– or maybe Jane is gonna ask you to state the ‘no’ and
choose not to participate or do whatever ’cause that’s part of Jane’s teaching and that’s why we like her so much. It’s part of
the Beyond the Bedroom teaching as well.
37:01 EW: No, is to really empower people to say both an empowered ‘yes’ and an empowered ‘no’ and just this morning that’s what
you said. You really can’t have– an individual doesn’t have an empowered ‘yes’ until they are able to state their ‘no’ and their
37:20 JB: Yeah. Yeah.
37:20 DD: Right. Yup.
37:22 EW: Is that?
37:22 DD: Yeah, so, I think a lot of this will be taught that that’s what you do. But I just wanted people to understand that it
is helpful to be very clear more on the ‘no’s’ as well.
37:32 JB: One of the exercises that we’ll spend quite a bit of time doing is called “setting up sacred space”. In this setup,
you’re making agreements and so you can clarify what your boundaries are and what your desires are.
37:50 EW: Mmm.
37:50 JB: And your, and we’ll go through this in detail at the workshop, but to clear out any things that don’t serve you at that
time. And that could be self-consciousness, that could be jealousy, that could be negativity, that could be sore feet, it could be
anything. But then what you want to bring into the energy of the, with the person that you’re working with or the group that
you’re working with, so– and again, boundaries can be– one of the exercises that we’ll do around boundaries is kind of a fun
group activity that we all do it, but it’s– without prompting too many things like, if I said, “what are your boundaries in a
relationship?” Someone may answer, “dishonesty is outside of my boundaries.” Another person may answer, “Skamp play is outside of
38:54 DD: Hmm.
38:54 JB: I mean it could be anywhere, another person may say,–
38:58 EW: “My husband isn’t allowed to talk to other women.” That’s pretty severe boundary.
39:02 JB: Yeah.
39:03 EW: But it’s may be some woman’s boundary.
39:05 JB: Or it could– people without, again, prompting, come up with all kinds of answers to it. It could be smoking is outside
of a boundary of my relationship.
39:16 EW: Yeah.
39:16 DD: Mmhmm.
39:17 JB: So, anyway, come with open heart, open mind, I promise we will honor and keep you safe.
39:25 DD: Now you have a number of people that are gonna be there to support this as well, so why don’t you tell us a little bit
about them and how people could use them?
39:33 JB: Yes. As was talked about Denver/Boulder area, we have a number of practitioners from different lineages, many of whom
I’ve worked with– Beyond the Bedroom conferences, etc. So we’ll have Keepers of the Heart, which are volunteers that are there
for emotional support if anything should trigger that someone wants someone to talk to about it and over the long lunch break I
encourage you to pair up– I’ll give it more direct assignment, but to know that there’s Keepers of the Heart. There’s also
Keepers of the Space and those are people that are gonna make sure that there’s water available, there’s tissues available, the
logistics about the bathrooms, how to get registration, all of that kind of things. And then assistants, too. The assistants may
be participants in some exercises or they may be guided to walk form group to group to see if there’s any questions or how the
progress is going through each group. The one other thing that assistants asked to do is to step in or step out as numbers are
40:58 DD: Mmm. To balance it out.
40:59 JB: Yeah.
40:59 DD: Right and I know one of the things that we’ve done in the past as well with different teachings, and I assume this’ll
apply here, is if there’s somebody who is uncomfortable for attending the workshop. Say there’s a woman coming in and there’s an
exercise coming up and she’s uncomfortable being with somebody that she doesn’t really know, some of us will be there to help
support them and, you know, we can jump in to doing that particular exercise with that person, be it Elizabeth, myself, or one of
the other people that are gonna be there to really– so that you really understand and know that this isn’t some strange person
coming in off the street that has no experience and put yourself in that vulnerable space so we can kind of help nurture that along
until you can into a more comfortable space for people, if need be.
41:47 JB: Right, right. I think giving encouragement I mean, what your intentions are is a strong statement of what you’re gonna
get out of it and so I want people to challenge themselves to push beyond the limits of who they think they are.
42:05 DD: Hmm.
42:05 EW: Hmm.
42:06 DD: Yeah, we like the euphemism of, “Stretch your boundaries, don’t break them, but stretch that rubber band so it expands a
little bit more and becomes a little bit more inclusive of new ideas and thoughts.”
42:17 EW: Yeah if you’re a person, and let’s go back to the yes/no exercise, if you’re a person who’s a people-pleaser and you do
everything because you believe you’re gonna fulfill a desire of someone else but it’s not really your desire, pushing that edge and
actually feeling into your ‘no’ in this practice environment, being able to state your ‘no’, that’s gonna be a — maybe that’s what
you come for and maybe that’s what you get. You know, is that empowered ‘no’ and then have confidence to use it in other areas of
your life as the weekend closes and you move on.
42:55 JB: Mmhmm.
42:56 EW: So there’s a lot to sky dancing Tantra, are you hoping to– I know we’re not, and participants are not going to get
everything in the whole weekend. Is this something that we can expect you to repeatedly bring new sky dancing teachings to us as
time goes on? Because I know that this is the first weekend that you’re doing the three days of sky dancing Tantra. So any plans,
whether they’re concrete or not, but will you continue to teach?
43:26 JB: Absolutely. It’s my nature.
43:28 EW: OK. Ok.
43:30 JB: Looking at when would be the next event, will really be determined on the request for it and whether it’d be a repeat of
a beginner’s or if this’ll be an added-on, more intermediate kind of teaching is yet to develop.
43:50 DD: OK
43:52 EW: OK so this one, the three dancing of sky dancing Tantra in November, this is what is considered a beginner’s course.
43:59 JB: Absolutely.
44:00 EW: Perfect, OK. Just to get that straight.
44:02 JB: Yeah, right. And as you were talking about having an empowered ‘no’, one of the things, especially for women, is to have
an empowered ‘yes’ too. I think we’re so conditioned to say, “Oh, no, it’s alright, don’t worry about me,” or, “I’m not really
into it because it’s not addressing my pleasure needs.” To allow ourselves an empowered, “Yes, I do want this,”–
44:29 DD: Mmhmm,
44:29 EW: Mmhmm.
44:29 JB: “And yes I have permission to ask for what I like.”
44:33 DD: Yeah.
44:34 EW: Yeah, that’s great. It’s really encouraging and I know that most of the Tantric lineage is, that’s what we foster, so
I’m sure you’re gonna do a great job with that. So lemme look through some of the teachings so you two talk amongst yourselves
about something while I do that. Talk amongst yourselves.
44:50 DD: Talk, we’re talkers. She tells us to talk and then keeps on talking. *laughter*
44:58 EW: Sorry. Oh this is a really good one. So, how might some of the practices that you’re gonna teach, how might that
enhance a couple’s relationship?
45:09 JB: Mmm, ahh. I tell you, my beloved and I who’ve been studying many different lineages, but sky dancing, together, it has
really encouraged us to step out of our routine box to continue our self-discovery, but discovery of what we want our relationship
to hold and some of that is– big one, trust. Trust that our needs will be met, our boundaries will be respected, our desires that
we have the responsibility for our own experience and so the blame game of, you know, “You don’t rub me right!” kind of gets
squashed there because we have to take responsibility for our own pleasure.
46:09 DD: Yup.
46:10 EW: I like that.
46:10 DD: Yeah, I think that’s huge and that’s not something that’s taught in our culture and we have this blame game and the fact
that– I think it’s really prevalent in the United States that we don’t take a lot of responsibility for our own actions and when I
say our own actions, I’m talking just about for us ourselves. You know, we expect somebody else to come in and nurture us–
46:30 EW: Take care of things.
46:32 DD: Take care of us, make love to us, whatever it is. And
46:36 JB: Create our own– create the orgasm for us
46:40 DD: Right.
46:40 JB: Do it to us.
46:42 DD: And, so that I think that’s a huge learning and teaching for people to get so…
46:48 JB: Yeah. And I know it has really bonded us much tighter, much closer and in so many ways that, you know, sexual being just
one part of that. The relationship skills, another huge one, to be able to speak our truth, to come from an honest heart, you
know, to have the ambition and motivation to keep the adventure fire going, the fluidity of our sexual sexuality, the way that we
feel about our genital-selves, ourselves as a man or a woman and the polarities that work out between those.
47:36 EW: Mmhmm. Great.
47:37 DD: OK, so we’re approaching the end of this episode of Naked Talk.
47:39 JB: Are we?! Wow it did, it just flew by!
47:45 DD: Yeah. So we wanna start talking a little bit about some of the things that are coming up.
47:50 EW: So first we’re gonna do specifically sky dancing, the three days of sky dancing Tantra, so to learn more, Jane what is
the name of the website?
48:01 JB: The website is 3daysofskydancingtantra.com
48:09 EW: So that’s the number three, don’t spell it out–
48:10 DD: Actually it’ll still be fine too.
48:13 EW: Either way you’ll be directed either way, but 3daysofskydancingtantra to learn more and certainly to register.
48:18 DD: That’s gonna be November 14th-16th so it’s coming up fairly quickly.
48:23 EW: It’s two weeks before Thanksgiving so no excuses of, “Oh I gotta that the turkey.” *laughter* You know?
48:30 DD: Football game.
48:32 EW: There will be a football game but, what’s that thing where you can pre-record it and watch it as if it were live… So
all the registration details and we can actually really talk about the pricing, because it’s– if I’m remembering, $297 for a
48:49 JB: Yeah for individual and then it’ll increase by a hundred dollars for people that you bring. So a couple’d be $397, a
threesome would be $497, so it gets more and more affordable the more–
49:05 DD: You bring in.
49:05 JB: …folks that you invite.
49:07 DD: If you are a couple and you’ve got another friend that’s a couple as well, well that’s four people. If you all sign up
49:15 EW: Group rate.
49:16 DD: Right, then you get a much bigger group rate and group savings and I think that’s great. Four people, I think is…
49:22 EW: $497
DD: $597? $497. Oh I forget, yeah well whatever it is it’s gonna give you a nice little discount so bring your friends. Come
once, come often, that kind of thing.
49:31 JB: Bring your sisters.
49:33 EW: Yeah.
49:33 DD: Yeah.
49:33 JB: Yeah.
49:33 EW: So, Jane, in terms of, are you open to same-sex couples, you know, so…
49:40 JB: Yeah, absolutely. On these exercises, because you don’t have to pair up with someone other than for this exercise–
same-sex partners are fine. I like to see the gender balance but it’s not necessary– it’s not absolutely necessary.
50:01 EW: I think that’s an important question.
50:02 DD: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So, then after that weekend, we’ve got a woman coming in to Colorado named Monique Darling.
She’s gonna be teaching a– we’re actually gonna be doing an event, a panel at Naropa University so we’re very excited about that.
That’ll be the Thursday before Thanksgiving.
50:23 EW: November 20th.
50:24 DD: November 20th. And then the 21st we’re gonna have something called a Pink Poosie and then Saturday we’ve got a number of
50:32 EW: Monique’s doing three classes; one on releasing shame and guilt, another one on energetic sex.
50:38 DD: And another one on figuring out what you want on– dreaming for your life. And then Sunday we’ve got a Dakini Circle.
50:48 EW: Women only!
50:48 DD: It’s a women’s only kind of event. So we’re very excited about that and then we’re pretty much done for…
50:55 EW: Done for the year.
50:56 DD: Yeah.
50:57 EW: We’re gonna take a little holiday break, a winter break as Dan gears up into his ski-patrol season but we’re really gonna
come up fresh and with a lot of passion in 2015. So it’s not that we’re slowing down, yeah?
51:14 JB: I already know some of your plans for 2015.
51:16 EW: Oh yeah, Janey knows some of our plans for– see how excited she gets? I’ll share that with you as it comes down the
road. But look for that on BedEvents.com under events you’ll see a workshop and class tab.
51:32 DD: You can also find Jane’s event, 3 days of sky dancing tantra at BedEvents.com as well, so if you hapen to go there and
forgot how to get to 3 days of sky dancing tantra, you’ll definitely see it on our calendar also.
51:44 EW: So should we wrap up?
51:47 DD: Yup, I think that’s it.
51:49 EW: So, this is gonna be kind of funny because you all know the close, but I wanna thank Jane in particular, for being here.
She drove up so we could do this all together, we thought it would be way more fun. So I’ll do our formal wrap-up and then we’ll
say our goodbyes. So, per usual, that about wraps up tonight’s naked talk. We wanna thank all of you for participating and being
a part of this really potent conversation. We do wanna thank our sponsor, Tantra Dakini, that is the first one, yeah , she gets to
do the wave, our sponsor Tantra Dakini– the online resource for materials relating to spiritual and sacred sexuality and that is
TantraDakini.org and we get to thank her in person.
52:41 JB: Oh my pleasure.
52:42 DD: Where’s me?!
52:44 EW: Has anybody ever noticed that, like, when a plane goes into turbulence and there’s a woman sitting between– I’ve noticed
this– between her partner and another women, it’s the two women who hang on to each other first and the– the guys like, “Ok, I
know we’re not going down, it’s only turbulence, but hey, what about me?” So Jane and I just did that. So, thank you–
53:06 DD: I’ve never noticed that.
53:07 EW: Haven’t you? I’ve pointed it out to people numerous times because I’m usually the one grabbing the woman, I think she
understands me better, I don’t know. So anyways, thank you so much Jane for being with us. We hope to see many of you at the 3
days of sky dancing workshop. Clearly Dan and I are going to, depending on our assignments, being Keepers of the Heart or Keepers
of the Space. So any final words Jane?
53:36 JB: Yeah I would like to bring us to Namaste. Which is the divine within us recognizes us recognizes and greets the divine
53:47 EW: Oh that’s beautiful.
53:47 JB: Namaste.
53:48 EW: Namaste.
53:49 DD: Namaste. Alright, night everybody!
53:52 EW: Thank you!53:55