Ah, the early days of the courtship. Remember when you both got butterflies in your stomach just thinking about each other? You couldn’t wait to see each other, and could have the time of your lives doing literally nothing as long as you were doing it together. That was before you were married, though, andmarriage is a notorious killer of romance. Though that only has to be true if you let it. You have to be proactive to kickstart your marriage and get the romance flowing again. Do little things like writing love notes or sending flowers, but include some of these larger gestures, too.
Date Your Spouse
To add spice to your relationship you used to schedule time together before you were married. There’s no reason that spicing up your marriage has to stop post-nuptials. In fact, it’s vital you continue to “date” your partner. As Essence points out, you make time for meetings at work. It’s just as important to do the same at home. Set a specific night each week — it doesn’t even have to be a Friday or Saturday. If Wednesdays work out best for the both of you, that’s fine. At least you’ll have an evening each week where you can count on having each other’s undivided attention. Even if it’s just going out to dinner, your dates will take you out of your everyday setting and allow you to talk and get to know each other all over again.
Surprise Me Even After Marriage
The mundane rituals of life will put a damper on even the hottest romance. Bills, work, kids…it all teams up to rope you into a routine that can get comfortable, but can also bore you out of your skull. Break that routine and surprise your partner. Take off work early one afternoon and spend that time together at the zoo, having a picnic or doing something else you haven’t done for years. Or take a surprise mini-vacation. Make a reservation at a luxury hotel and kidnap your spouse for a weekend of hot sex, room service and no phone calls —leave the mobile at home!
Stay Hot During Your Marriage
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can let yourself go. If anything, marriage gives you more reason to spice up your marriage, stay fit and dress nice because now you have someone specific to do it for. Even if it isn’t your favorite thing, keep up the workout routine. Heck, workout with each other! Getting all sweaty together can be a turn on, especially when you’re both doing it for the other person. Go the extra mile in the wardrobe department, too, just like you would have when you were single. Occasionally wearing ripped jeans and baggy sweatshirts is allowed, but men should keep some un-stained pants and shirts in the closet, just as women should have a few dressy sweaters and attractive dresses on hand. Make sure that also extends to the bedroom. Those T-shirts and footie pajamas might be comfy, but “dress-up” for bed, at least on the weekends. Get silk boxers for him and lingerie and lacypanties from Yumdrop for her.
Get a Life While Married
Togetherness can be a good thing, but too much of a good thing can strangle your romance. The Lifestyle Lounge recommends having as much time apart as you have together. Maintain your identity and have a life outside of being a couple. Do things with friends, have separate hobbies and give each other some breathing room. Having time apart gives you each the space to appreciate one another. After all, like the country song says, “How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?”